she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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