it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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