I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
All I want is dick and wine.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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