I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize