i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
