Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
