Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize