I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
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I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
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He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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