My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
