At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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