Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Boobs speak an international language.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Why is there bacon in the couch?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
