Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
