so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
