it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
