absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
