I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
