oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
