Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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