Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Randomize
