is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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