He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
