so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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