I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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