it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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