I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
