new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
