if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
its liver damage thursday
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
