so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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