That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
