So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
