I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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