Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
