i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize