FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
