She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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