Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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