well I can't set my house on fire every night
Its about making memories worth repressing
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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