He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
