Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
