Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
