ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.