So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up