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Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
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