found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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