He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
