either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose ass print is on the piano?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize