i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize