Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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