Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
