i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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