If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it glows. i had to have it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
