she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
