I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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