I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
