Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
