omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
