It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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