Whod you bang
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i dont even know how to be here
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
