I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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