I am in a vortex of obligation.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
